Anytime Prayer

Two Little Eyes to Look at God

Two Little Ears to Hear His Word

Two Little Feet to Walk in His Way

Two Little Lips to Sing His Praise

Two Little Hands to Do His Will

And One Little Heart to Love Him Still

Photo Challenge- Day 14

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward

Psalm 127:3



Photo Challenge- Day 13

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist

One of my favorite music bands is the group called Selah. They are a contemporary christian group and are awesome. I have been listening to their music for several years now. You might recognize the song, "You Raised Me Up", if you listen to WMHK . When we lost Carter 3 years ago I became very engaged in blogs with women who had been through similar situations. I came across Angie Smith's blog "Bring the Rain" . It just so happened that Angie Smith is Todd Smith's wife . Todd is the lead singer for Selah. I had the awesome opportunity to hear Selah in concert about a year ago with my dear friend Madelyn Mathias. It was an awesome concert. One of the many things that I like about Selah is that they sing alot of old hymns that we used to sing at church and they put a contemporary flare to them. All three of the singers have unbelievable voices. After Todd and Angie lost their baby girl, Audrey Caroline they wrote a song called , " I will carry you" . WOW, what an amazing song.

Click on the video below to hear the song ....

Also if you want to check out Angie's story and her blog below is the web address:

http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

And, if you ever get a chance to pick up a Selah CD or on ITunes or maybe even go to their concert, you will thoroughy be blessed.

Photo Challenge- Day 12

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

One of the things that I love the most is Pregnancy. I loved being pregnant, I love seeing pregnant ladies in stores and I love how much of a blessing pregnancy truely is. Pregnancy and bringing new life into the world is a such a Gift from God. 

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart. Do not be afraid… for I am with you… declares the Lord. Jeremiah 1:5,8 NIV

Photo Challenge - Day 11

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate

I am TERRIFIED of Frogs! Absolutley TERRIFIED! I realize that they do not bite, sting, hurt you or anything but I am so afraid of them!  they are so gross! I also do not like lizards, snakes, bugs, spiders, or any kind of insect or bug.  Even as I was looking up a picture to put on this post it freaks me out to look at this scarey little guy... ewwwwww...

Photo Challenge - Day 9

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

 

" I can do everything through Him who gives me strength"  Philippians 4:13

Without the love, the grace the mercy and the strength that God provides me each and every day, There is no way that I could make it through the day.  He sent his Son, Jesus to die on the cross for Us.  God is compassionate, our Creator, our Defender, and our Encourager. He is Faithful, Forgiving, and in control. He is our Hope and our Guide. He is our Provider, our strength, our Shepard and the TRUTH. 

"God's Love Endures FOREVER"   Psalm 136:1

Photo Challenge - Day 8

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

This picture was taken when Cole was 3 month old. :)  LOL

Photo Challenge - Day 7

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

This one was a hard one because I have two "items" that I consider treasured items.

As far back as I can remember, when we were growing up my grandmother , aka Nannie, had a heart and passion for Jesus Christ.  She taught children sunday school for many many years until she was unable to do it anymore. My Mom sang in the choir so, me and my brother always sat with our Nannie on the second row. When we would stand up to sing hymns our Nannie would always sing louder than everyone in the congregation. Her favorite song was "Victory in Jesus" and you better believe when we sang that song she cranked it up a few notches!  When our Nannie entered any room you could tell that she had a heart for God.  If for some reason we missed a sunday at church , Nannie would call us right after she got home and want to know where we were.

Our Nannie would always tell us that when Jesus was ready to take her to Heaven she was ready.  Our Nannie was called  to be with Jesus 3 years ago. I remember sitting with Nannie about a week before she passed away and she wanted me to read the Bible to her. So I grabbed her Bible , the one that she had used for many many years and read some scripture to her. At this time her dementia had become so severe she could not speak but I know that she comprehended everything that I read .  One of my most treasured possessions is my Nannie's bible. It sits on the table as you walk in to our front door.  This bible has notes written in it, people she prayed for, bookmarks , etc. It is so very special to me ! I love it when people come in and ask me about the bible and I can explain to them what a wonderful woman of God she was.  

The other item that is so very special to me , is my first born son's footprint necklace. The first mothers day after we lost Carter was obviously extremely difficult.  My mother decided to make is so very special. While at the hospital when I delivered Carter, she asked the nurse to do his footprints for her to have a copy. She mailed her copy off to a place she found online and they copied his actual footprint and engraved it into a necklace.  The stone is his birthstone and on the back of the necklace is his name and his birth/death date. It is so very special to me and I wear it all the time.  It reminds me that Carter will always be with me whereever I go and will forever be our angel in Heaven.  How beautiful is this necklace?

Photo Challege - Day 6 *** a little late****

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

Sorry , A little behind on the photo challenge, but heres to catching up! :)

The person that I would trade places with for a day would be Cole!  think about it.... from the time he wakes up until the time he goes to bed, he gets his meals prepared and fed to him, he gets rocked to sleep for 1 or either 2 naps per day. When he cries, wines or even just wants to be held he gets held and hugged and kissed all day long, until he is laid in his crib at night.  His day consists of playing, coloring, making thing with play do , playing outside on the swing set, or inside in his playroom, etc.  Most importantly he knows that he is loved unconditionally and he's oblivious to the crazy world that we currently live in.

Photo Challege - Day 5

Day 05 - A picture of a favorite memory

I have many many favorite memories that have occurred in the past 31 ( almost 32 ) years of my life. the title of Day 5 Photo Challenge was My favorite memory and I changed it to say "a" favorite memory because I was having a hard time narrowing it down to one memory.

The picture above is a picture of the Ammons' family at my Dad's suprise birthday party 2 years ago.  My Dad is a huge clemson fan! Any given day you will probably see him wearing either a clemson hat or a clemson shirt. For his 70th birthday my brother arranged us a space overlooking the clemson baseball field. That particular day was special . Not only was it my Dad's birthday, and we were celebrating at Clemson University, but the Tigers were playing my Dad's alma mater, UNC Wilmington.  My Dad knew about the party but the suprise was that he was going to get to throw out the first pitch! It was so very cool! While my Dad was opening gifts he came to a box that had a replica jersey ( compliments of my very talented mother) and his acutal baseball glove that he used in college. When he opened this gift he wasn't too sure what to say or do. Then my brother , told him that he needed to warm up his glove ( and his arm) because he would be throwing the first pitch! The smile on his face was PRICELESS!   

It was also really awesome to get our extended family ALL back together. Since our Nannie passed away 3 years ago its been difficult getting us all together at one time. Most all of us , have moved away from our hometown and have started families in different locations. We don't see each other often but we still are a close family and I love everyone in our family to pieces.

Photo Challenge- Day 4

Day 04 - A picture of your night

typically  my nights are the same.....

playing with cole after dinner

After bath time we get our PJ's on and Cole picks out a book ( or two...  or three! ) .

After we read a few books Cole puts the book back into the bin and then he gets to pick out 2 paci's from the basket . One for his mouth and one to put in his crib just in case he loses the one in his mouth during the night. He has become quite halerious when he picks out his paci. He has to sit in the same spot ( with his back up against the ottoman )and he now wants to hold the basket. 

After Cole is done picking out his 2 paci's , he puts one in his crib by "teddy" and then grabs his lovey. We cut on his sound spa and the projection on the ceiling , and it is off to sleepy land Cole goes. This is truely one of my favorite times with Cole. He is still ( which doesn't happen very often during the day). During this time I pray over him and ask God to watch over him, keep him safe.

Photo Challenge- Day 3

Day 3: A Picture of The Cast From Your Favorite Show

Being in the medical field I am very interested in any medical type shows. I have been an avid fan of grey's anatomy for many many years. I also like the discovery channel and the many medical shows they show on their channel. 

Photo Challenge- Day 2

Day 2: You and the person you have been closest to the longest



This one was very easy, the person I have been closest to the longest , is my Mother.  I am so very blessed to have such a giving , caring , sweet mother like her. She has always been there for me through the good and the bad.  I don't know where I would be without her. When Cole was born she sacrificed a full time job that she had been working for 10 plus years and decided to come take care of Cole for us three days a week.  I thank God every day for this blessing. What a blessing it is not have to wake him up early every single morning and get him dressed and him have to go to daycare with 10 other children . He gets one on one care every single day and loves every single minute of it. Cole loves his MIMI so much he wants to call her all day from my cell phone and when I scold him for something he usually crys for mimi! it is too funny! I love my Mom to the moon and back. Thank you Jesus for providing a Mom to me that truely has a servent heart.  Love you Mom!

30 Day Photo Challenge- Day One

I saw on another blog that I read frequently, a 30 Day Photo Challenge and I am going to TRY my best to do it . It looks like alot of fun and I thought I would give it a shot.   Feel free to join in the FUN!

Day One: A Photo of yourself with 10 facts

1 I grew up in Lugoff South Carolina and lived in the same house my entire childhood and through college.

2. I absoultely love all sports . Growing up all family gatherings consisted of eating a HUGE meal cooked by our Nannie and usually the TV was on some sort of Sport , mainly football.  I grew very fond of this sport as welll as baseball  :)

3. I have one brother Ricky, a sister Dona and a half brother Ronald.  I don't get to see my sibilings very often but I love them all very much!

4. I have to have a Doctor Pepper every single day!

5. I have recently started doing embroidary and love doing crafts.  I also enjoy taking lots of pictures.  :)

6. Growing up I never thought I would be a nurse because I could not handle the sight of blood. It would literally make me sick to my stomach and queezy.   I have been a RN for almost 7 years and absolutley love it. I truely have a passion for medicine and helping others.

7. I am slightly obsessed with Target and Starbucks. 

8. I am very much a routine person and do not operate well with "spur of the moment " changes or deviations with my routine. 

9. I have been married to Mike for almost 7 years.  ( wow, where did time go? )

10. almost 18 months ago, God blessed us with  the sweetest,loveable ,most amazing baby boy . Cole has truely been such a blessing to us and I love him more and more each and every day. God is so Good.


Here is the list for the challenge:






Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

Day 04 - A picture of your night

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity

Day 19 - A picture and a letter

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change

Day 25 - A picture of your day

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

 

"THE LOVEY"

Right after Cole was born my very talented mother made Cole a taggie blanket . It is really silky on one side and on the other side it is very soft and has his name monogramed on it. Since he was about a  month old we would always rock him to sleep with it.  When he was about 4 months old we started letting him sleep with it in his crib when we were positive that he would not put it over his head and not be able to move it!  Since then, "the lovey" goes everywhere he goes. He can't take a nap without it and when he is playing "the lovey" is always close by somewhere. When he is upset or tired he grabs it and holds it up to his head.  Mike has even said that Cole looks like Linus off of Charlie Brown with his blanket!  I have to laugh because when I was a child I had a blanket that I could not and would not part with. It was so bad that I would get so upset when my mom would try to wash it or clean it. Im embarresed to say, the blanket was literally ripping apart  before I even thought about parting with it.

As I ponder this thought today , It makes me stop and think, we as adults have security blankets. It might not literally be a blanket but we all have something or something that we really really need ( or think we need)  . Something that defines us as who we are . It might be your career, your job title, your house, your wealth, your family, your health,  etc. But the ultimate question is what happens when the day comes along and your security blanket is suddenly stripped away from you ? How do you respond?

Our ultimate security blanket needs to be our faith and love for Jesus Christ. In Romans 8 : 37 it says "In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."   We must all remind ourselves that there is security beyond every disease, depression, disaster, financial difficulty, death of a loved one or friend etc. When I was pregant with Carter I never in a million years would have thought that the day of a routine check up that we would hear the words that no one ever wants to hear. The words that our baby who we were so anxious to meet was not going to be born alive, but was already in the arms of Jesus.   It was hard to fathom at the time and has taken me many many months to comprehend ,  but God is working through me and our loss and it has lead me closer to Him in many many ways.   Jesus Christ died on the cross for us and even when we feel like our  earthly "security blanket" has failed us we need to realize that Jesus has unfailing  love for those that trust in Him.  Ultimate security is knowing you belong to Jesus Christ and what you have lost may be what finally leads you to Jesus- The One you can never lose.


The ONLY way to get to GOD, is by GOD. You must go to GOD, not to somewhere else, not to something else, not to someone else, regardless of how god-like any of these appear.- [John 10]

Don't Blink

Before Cole was born and shortly after his arrival just about everyone I talked to told me to enjoy every minute with him because time will go by so fast. It was one of those comments that I ( at the time) thought was one of those comments that people "just say". However my opinion of this comment has completely changed over the past 17 months. Today as I was getting Cole ready for his nap i decided to switch up his  music that we play while he is napping. We have a few CD's that we have accquired over the last 17 months that have sleepy songs ( in hopes that he will sleep all night). Not sure if it has helped or not but we have done it since he was born and he is just used to it.  Anyway, I picked up one and put it in the CD player and as the music started I immediately realized that it was the one we played when we he was a newborn.  As I sat and rocked him to sleep for his nap all of the newborn and early months of his life memories started flooding back to me. The days of only bottle feedings every 2-3 hours, the days of learning how to hold his head up, the days he started cooing , the days he started learning how to sit up, learning how to crawl, the many sleepless nights, the days of overwhelming feelings such as how was I going to make it through the day due to pure exaustion. These are all memories now( well maybe not the exaustion part :) ) . Memories that mean so much to me and memories that I will hold dear in my heart for years and years to come!  It is hard to believe our baby boy is 17 months old.  It seems like just yesterday we were welcoming him into the world.  I feel so blessed to have him in my life. Now, I find myself telling new and expecting moms, how important it is to cherish every moment ,the good ones and the tough ones.  The words "Don't Blink" have a new meaning to me because now i realize just how important these words are.

New Years Eve 2011

My how our new years eve's have changed throughout the year. I remember many years we would plan our new years eve plans months in advance and pick out the perfect outfit and have all plans in order for the night so that we could ring in the new year! My how things have changed :)    3 years ago was spent saying goodbye to Carter at his memorial service, last year I was asleep well before midnight because we had a 4 month old who wasn't a big sleeper so I knew I would be up with him at some point in the night, this year I spent new years eve in bed because  I was/am sick :(  no fun at all!!!!!! .  but I am positive that  2011 will be full of fun and excitement and I know that God is going to use myself and our family for the good of his Kingdom.

Happy 2011 everyone! May God Bless each and everyone of you!

Happy 3rd Birthday Carter!

Today we celebrate our son's birth along with greive his death. Our baby boy was born sleeping on this day 3 years ago. We got to hold, kiss and love on our baby boy for many hours before they came to get him from the funeral home and the hours that we spent with him are still ever so fresh in my mind.  Today Carter is celebrating his birthday in Heaven with Jesus. There are no words that can describe the pain that we still carry with us every day, there are no actions that could have been done to prevent what happened and there will always be a piece of us missing. I struggle to understand what I did to deserve this, but I quickly remind myself, while this is incredibly painful I am blessed to know our Savior, Jesus Christ and am reminded that we are all children of God and one day we will be reunited with our Carter, and we will meet Jesus , the one that paid the ultimate price for all of us.  Thank you Jesus for blessing me with Carter and the ability to carry him for 8.5 months and also for blessing us with Carter's little brother, Cole. Cole brings so much joy and happiness in my life and he truely is a blessing from God.

I wanted to share a poem that I found a few months back that helps me get through the rough days . It is a reminder that Carter is with me and watching over me.

Happy Birthday Addison Carter White!
We love you so much!

I thought of you and closed my eyes,



And prayed to God today.


I asked what makes a Mother,


And I know I heard him say:


A mother has a baby,


This we know is true.


But, God, can you be a mother,


When your baby's not with you?


Yes, you can he replied,


With confidence in his voice.


I give many women babies,


When they leave is not their choice.


Some I send for a lifetime,


And others for a day.


And some I send to feel your womb,


But there's no need to stay.


I just don't understand this God,


I want my baby here.


He took a breath and cleared his throat,


And then I saw a tear.


I wish that I could show you,


What your child is doing today,


If you could see your child smile,


With other children who say:


We go to earth and learn our lessons,


Of love and life and fear.


My mommy loved me oh so much,


I got to come straight here.


I feel so lucky to have a mom,


Who had so much love for me.


I learned my lessons very quickly,


My mommy set me free.


I miss my mommy oh so much,


But I visit her each day.


When she goes to sleep,


On her pillow's where I lay.


I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,


And whisper in her ear.


"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."


So you see my dear sweet one,


Your children are Ok.


Your babies are here in My home,


They'll be at heavens gate for you.


So now you see what makes a mother.


It's the feeling in your heart.


It's the love you had so much of,


Right from the very start.


Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,


until their time is done.


They'll be up here with Me one day,


And you'll know that you're the best one!


-Author Unknown

Thank you to all of our friends and family that have stood by us and supported us for the past 3 years. We truely could not have done it without you!

3 Years Ago Today....

3 years ago today we had a routine doctors appointment at 10:00am to see how much our little "bean" had grown. we were only a few weeks away from delivery and we were so very excited. bags were packed, nursery was ready and we were ready to meet our new baby boy. Mike had an appointment downtown earlier in the morning so he was just going to meet me at the doctors office. i went ahead in and got my blood presssure taken and weighed. I went back to the exam room and waited for the doctor to come in and check me. Dr. Salley was on the OB side that day and I had seen him before so I liked him alot. He came in and we talked for a few minutes and as I got up on the exam table and he was getting ready to place the warm gel on my belly to listen for the heartbeat , there was a knock at the door and mike walked in . As he placed the doppler on my belly he had a hard time locating the heartbeat and he had a concerned look on his face. I knew immediatly something was wrong.  He asked the nurse to bring in a portable ultrasound machiene and then the most devestating news that anyone could ever  hear came out of his mouth.  At that very moment , my world came crashing down. Our sweet baby bean had passed away in my belly and was already with Jesus. How in the world did this happen? why did this happen to me? what did i do wrong?  Millions of questions rushed through my head. He wanted us to have a normal ultrasound done to see if he could diagnose what happened. so they wisked us into the big ultrasound room where just weeks before we had a 3D ultrasound of Carter and he was kicking and very active. as they turned on the ultrasound machine there he was laying completly still. not moving no heartbeating , no anything. just lifeless. I was completley crushed. this had to be a nightmare. I just wanted to wake up. After the ultrasound Dr. Salley escored us into his office to talk about delivery. He informed us that we were to go home and come back to the hospital the following morning to start the induction process and deliver Carter. GO home? really? Go home to a home that we planned on welcoming our new baby boy in a few weeks . a home that smelled of baby powder and baby lotion and was already filled with baby stuff? really? how could we go home. After we received the terrible news that our baby had died in my womb , news spread quickly. before we knew it people were calling, emailing, texting and showing up.  As we got in the car from the doctors office, I was actually listening to Jeremy Camp on the way to the office that morning and as we drove away, "Walk by Faith" was playing and at the time, looking back I can see where God was trying to speak to us but honesty at the time I just wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out again. We had some very dear friends, Kathy and Devin Henson so graciously invite us to spend the night at their house that night so that we did not have to stay in our empty house before having to be at the hospital so early the following morning. At first I just wanted to be alone but the best thing we could have done was go over there and be in fellowship with friends. Before going home we were told we needed to go to the church chapel for prayer. When we arrived , we were greeted by so many loving friends who were there to wrap their arms around us and pray for us. it was truely amazing.  After we had prayer in the chapel we went home to get a few things and then head to Devin and Kathy's house.  a few friends met us over at our house to show their sympathy and love.  We gathered our stuff and headed over to the Henson's house for the evening. That night a few friends, The Mathias' and the Freemans came over and we sat around and talked. It was good to fellowship and be surrounded by so many loving friends that deeply cared for us. that evening I laid in the bed and held my stomach and cried all night. I just kept thinking I was going to feel carter move and that this was all going to be a mistake. unfortunetly, i felt nothing all night. Our baby was already in heaven with Jesus and I was going to say hello and goodbye to him the following day.

Merry Chirstmas and Happy New Year !

              Merry Christmas to everyone and we hope you all have a blessed 2011.