Happy 3rd Birthday Carter!

Today we celebrate our son's birth along with greive his death. Our baby boy was born sleeping on this day 3 years ago. We got to hold, kiss and love on our baby boy for many hours before they came to get him from the funeral home and the hours that we spent with him are still ever so fresh in my mind.  Today Carter is celebrating his birthday in Heaven with Jesus. There are no words that can describe the pain that we still carry with us every day, there are no actions that could have been done to prevent what happened and there will always be a piece of us missing. I struggle to understand what I did to deserve this, but I quickly remind myself, while this is incredibly painful I am blessed to know our Savior, Jesus Christ and am reminded that we are all children of God and one day we will be reunited with our Carter, and we will meet Jesus , the one that paid the ultimate price for all of us.  Thank you Jesus for blessing me with Carter and the ability to carry him for 8.5 months and also for blessing us with Carter's little brother, Cole. Cole brings so much joy and happiness in my life and he truely is a blessing from God.

I wanted to share a poem that I found a few months back that helps me get through the rough days . It is a reminder that Carter is with me and watching over me.

Happy Birthday Addison Carter White!
We love you so much!

I thought of you and closed my eyes,



And prayed to God today.


I asked what makes a Mother,


And I know I heard him say:


A mother has a baby,


This we know is true.


But, God, can you be a mother,


When your baby's not with you?


Yes, you can he replied,


With confidence in his voice.


I give many women babies,


When they leave is not their choice.


Some I send for a lifetime,


And others for a day.


And some I send to feel your womb,


But there's no need to stay.


I just don't understand this God,


I want my baby here.


He took a breath and cleared his throat,


And then I saw a tear.


I wish that I could show you,


What your child is doing today,


If you could see your child smile,


With other children who say:


We go to earth and learn our lessons,


Of love and life and fear.


My mommy loved me oh so much,


I got to come straight here.


I feel so lucky to have a mom,


Who had so much love for me.


I learned my lessons very quickly,


My mommy set me free.


I miss my mommy oh so much,


But I visit her each day.


When she goes to sleep,


On her pillow's where I lay.


I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,


And whisper in her ear.


"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."


So you see my dear sweet one,


Your children are Ok.


Your babies are here in My home,


They'll be at heavens gate for you.


So now you see what makes a mother.


It's the feeling in your heart.


It's the love you had so much of,


Right from the very start.


Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,


until their time is done.


They'll be up here with Me one day,


And you'll know that you're the best one!


-Author Unknown

Thank you to all of our friends and family that have stood by us and supported us for the past 3 years. We truely could not have done it without you!