Monday, December 29, 2008

One Year ago Today


It is hard to believe that One year ago today we said Hello and goodbye to our son, Addison Carter White. I am not writing this post to try and re-focus on my pain. Nor, am I writing this post to try to make a big deal out of the suffering that I have experienced over the past 12 months. I am writing this as a testimony to God's grace to bring me through this loss, and also a memorial to our baby - because I will never forget him.

I would be lying if I said that I am here , a year later totally over the loss of Carter. I truely don't think I will ever be "over" it. I am however, completely amazed and thankful for God's grace to me and giving me peace in times when , in my own flesh I would have none. Not only knowing but BELIEVING in God's sovereigity is a great comfort. I do not know how I would every get through a loss like this, or any other, without understanding the sovereigity of God. I know that my "human mind" could go so many places of how, why, this is unfair, etc But thankfully one of the many ways God has been gracious to comfort me through this is with his loving soverigity over ALL things, and by his grace he allows me to trust him fully, because he is good and does all things well.

I am so thankful to God for being so gracious to surround me with many loving friends and family members who have been so thoughtful to ask me how I am doing and so kind to listen me when I needed to talk. I appreciate every phone call, text message, letter, card, hug, smile , etc.

But he said to me " My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness". Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weakness, so that the power of Christ will rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12.9

Happy Birthday Carter! We love you!

5 comments:

Cate, Hank, Brady & Owen said...

Happy Birthday! Ash, I'm so glad you have God on your side! You are awesome and we will continue to think of you guys and pray for you...

Ashley said...

Thinking of you..... :)

Leslie Spradley said...

You are such a strong person!! I guess that is what God does for you, he will ALWAYS see you through ANYTHING! We are constantly thinking of you and Happy Birthday Carter!

The Spradley's @ Shivers Green Rd said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Knowing you will see your precious Carter again will help you get through this difficult thing we call life. All my best to you~

Jennie Bender said...

Praying for you. I am the mother of a trisomy 18 baby girl. The death of a child is a hard journey. God is gracious and merciful. He has so helped us. Praying for you at this mile marker of your sweet one.