Giving Thanks

As Thanksgiving is just around the corner, I find myself thinking of things that I am thankful for.  Below are a few things that I am thankful for this holiday season.
1.  A God that loves me unconditionally and never leaves my side.

2.  My husband , Mike who is a great father to our children and also a great husband.

3. My Parents who are the best parents anyone could ever ask for

4. Yvette, Mikes mom, who is a great mother in law and a wonderful grandma to our children

5. Bailey who teaches me so much each and every day. Its amazing how smart children are these days!

6. Cole  who makes me smile every time I look at him. He brings so much joy and happiness to my life.

7. My Brother, Ricky  and Sister Dona and their family. I love them so much and wish we could see each other more

8. My Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, and extended family- We all live in different places now but that doesn't change the fact that they are still very close to me and I love them so much.

9. My Job and the ability to make a difference in peoples lives on a daily basis

10. My friends - the best anyone could ever ask for!

11. Last but not least I am thankful that I have a child that walks with Jesus each and every day of his life. Even though I miss him more and more each and every day I am at peace knowing that he is in a place we all desire to be one day. He is our little angel and I am thankful that God chose me to carry him for 8 1/2 months.

O give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever. 1 Chronicles 16:34


Happy Thanksgiving !

2 Month Check Up

I am a little behind with this post so I am trying to play catch up!


Baby Cole,

I can't believe that you are 2 months already. It seems like just yesterday your Daddy and I were packing our bags and getting ready to go to Baptist Medical Center eagerly anticipating your birth.  We took you for your 2 month check up this month and you now weigh 12 pounds 1 oz ( 50 percentile) and you are 23 inches long ( 50 percentile) .  You did really good with your 3 immunizations you received at your  check up but your mommy didn't. :( She hurt for you and just wanted to take the pain for you.  You are changing every day. You have now started to develop your personality. My heart melts when you look at me and smile and your eyes just shine! I feel so blessed to be your Mommy and I am glad that God choose me and your daddy to be your parents.  Your pediatrican said you are a "very busy baby" and I could not agree with her more. You LOVE attention and already have your mommy wrapped around your tiny little finger.  I enjoy spending time with  you each and every day ! I love you with all of my heart!
Love,
Mommy

Mommy's Little Angel

Cole is changing every day! I can't believe that he is 10 weeks old already. He has definetly stolen my heart. I sit and hold him and think, how can I love someone so little so much. He brings so much joy and happiness in my life. I cannot imagine my life without him. He celebrated his first holiday, Halloween last month. He didn't do any trick- or - treating but there will be plenty of time for that in the years to come. During the past month he went for his first road trip/ overnight trip to Mimi and Paw Paws house. Bailey and Mike were sick so he and I went to stay with my parents for a few days in hopes not to get sick! We really enjoyed spending time with my parents and then visiting my brother and sister in law , Madison and Gracen the following weekend in Greenville.

One Month Ago

It is hard to believe that Baby Cole is one month old. It seems like just yesterday we were at the hospital eargly anticipating his arrival. He is such a blessing to us and we are enjoying each and every day we have with him. He likes cuddling with Mommy and Daddy but Im not sure that he likes it as much as his Mommy and Daddy Do :)

COLE IS HERE!

It has been a few weeks since I posted but as most of you know, we welcomed our sweet baby boy Alexander Cole White into the world on September 1, 2009 at 2:02 pm. I went in on Monday night and they begain the induction process. By the wee hours of the morning the medications begain to work in FULL FORCE and labor begain. My water broke around 9:30am on Tuesday and I begain pushing. After 4 straight hours of hard pushing Cole was not coming. After discussing with Dr. Odom the decision was made it was best that they prep me for a c- section. I was a bit nervous but I knew it was best that we get him here as quickly and safely as possible. So, at 2:02pm I heard the most joyous sound I have ever heard. I heard by little mircle of life, cry for the first time and it melted my heart. I have fallen more and more in love with him each and every day that he has been here. He brings so much joy and happiness to my life! We had to stay in the hospital an extra day because Cole's biliruben level went high and the MD wanted him to be monitored and placed until the bili lights. We were sent home with a bili blanket but he was only under it for a few days and then we had his level rechecked and it was normal. Thank GOODNESS! We had his 2 week check up this week and he now weighs 8 pounds 2 oz :) I am going to do my best to update my blog weekly or more often :) I can not say thank you enough to every one that came to the hospital to welcome Baby Cole and also to everyone that has been praying for us through our pregnancy journey. It was a very emotional pregnancy and even though Cole will not replace my baby boy Addison Carter he definely helps fill some of the emptyness I had in my heart for my baby. I still think about Carter each and every day and I see alot of him in Cole. I am so thankful to Jesus Christ for allowing me to carry one of his children again and for us to have him safe and sound here. God is so good.

SUPRISE SHOWER

I really have been truely blessed with great friends and great co-workers. 2 weeks ago we were "supposed " to have a meeting at the Capital City Club with some physicians about hospice care. Our Medical Director was "in charge" of setting the meeting up and he was arranging getting the Physicians there. Well, this was totally not the case.... When I arrived at The Capital City Club I was met by Tiffany, our Administrator and as we were in the bathroom I was talking about how I really hoped the MD's showed up! Well, as we walked around the Corner, Tammy , our President/ CEO was standing outside the room and said that they were not there yet :( But when I walked in the room, everyone yelled "SUPRISE" . I was totally shocked, overwhelmed with emotion and was completely speechless. I felt so special ! Throughout this pregnancy I have not even thought about having a baby shower and for my friends to do this for me, was so special to me I can not Thank everyone enough for coming and being a part of this special night with me. I will never forget it :) Cole got some really great gifts and he and our family are so blessed. A very special thank you to Tammy and Tiffany for hosting such a great shower! I can not say Thank you enough :)

Ultrasound Pictures

We had an ultrasound at last weeks appointment.. Appointment went great. Baby Cole weighs 4 pounds 10 oz and his heartrate is 149bpm. My blood pressure is good and so far ( knock on wood) I have not had very much swelling. I am starting to get a bit uncomfortable at night but I truely think it is God preparing me for many sleepless nights that will occur upon his arrival. :) Enjoy the pictures of our precious baby boy :)

Finished Nursery

We finished the Nursery this weekend! YIPEE!!! Thank you Mom for all of your hard work and help with everything! We are so lucky that you are so talented and are able to help out so much! I am so happy with the way it turned out. It was bittersweet to take down all of Carter's stuff and put up new stuff but I fully believe that it was DEF for the best! I am attaching a few pictures :) Also, we went to the Doctor on Friday of last week. Baby Cole weighs 4 pounds 10 oz :) We had an ultrasound and the ultrasound tech was gracious enough to take a few 3D pictures for us. I haven't had a chance to scan them but I hope to do so tomorrow and I will add them to the blog .... We have about 4 more weeks and I can not tell you how much I can not wait to hold my precious baby boy!

Baseball Tournament

Bailey played in a baseball tournamnet last weekend in Lexington. The tournmanet started on Saturday morning and ended on Sunday afternoon. It was a long HOT weekend but well worth it. His team WON the tournamnet and went undefeated. It was alot of fun! At the end of the tournmanet coach John called all the parents and team members on to the field and said he normally does not keep the winning plaque , he gives it to the player that did his best and played his heart out. Bailey was the recipent of the plaque! The smile on his face was priceless! I have attached a few pictures from the weekend. Way to go THUNDERCATS and way to GO BAILEY! We are sooo proud of you!

30 Weeks

Hi All!
Went to both Doctors today and got a good report from both of them! Praise the Lord! They are keeping me on the same Lovonex injection dosage daily and will keep me on this dosage through the remainder of the pregnancy. Peanut's heartrate is strong and is ranging from 148-150 today. I am measuring about 31 weeks so I am measuring a little big, and if any of you have seen me lately, this would not come as a suprise to you. Dr. Smythe was a little concerned on how much weight I have gained ( 40 pounds so far total) and 6 pounds in 2 weeks. He would like me to watch what I am eating but honestly at this point that is a little difficult- But I will do my best.

The Nursery has been painted and looks wonderful. I LOVE IT! Thank you to my Mom, My Aunt Frankie and Uncle Randy for doing such an awesome job! They delivered the new furniture yesterday and I will post pictures as soon as I get the room back in order. It is a total mess right now ! But I am attaching a picture of the bedding that we have purchased. We decided to paint the walls a Kakki color and one wall is Chocolate brown ( accent wall) . I am so happy with it! Now , I just have to order the bible verse for the wall and hopefully the animal prints will be in soon so we can hang them. they are sooo cute!

I will go back to the Doctor in 2 weeks for another ultrasound . The last ultrasound was done 2 weeks ago and I don't think I ever posted it, so I will attach it as well.

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers for us during this pregnancy. We really appreciate each and every one of them. Even though this is a very emotional time for all of us we are still Praising God for all that he has provided for us and continues to provide.

UPDATE

It has been a few months since I updated my blog so I wanted to send out a quick update on what has been happening with us. Bailey has finished 3 grade and has finished up this years baseball season. He has done so well with Baseball and really seems to LOVE it. He moves up to Minors next season and has expressed interst in wanting to pitch. So Mike is going to work with him this summer and get some lessons so he will be ready for next season. He turns 9 next week! I can't beleive it! Seems like just yesterday he was so small. Children grow up TOO fast! :)
Our Pregnancy is going great. I went to the MD this past week and found out I DO NOT have Gestational Diabetes like I did with Carter. PRAISE THE LORD. He did however fuss at me about my weight and does not want me to gain much more weight. :( Our little PNUT loves Bryers Ice Cream and HAD to have some every night. So I guess I will be cutting this out for the next few months. The funny thing about that is I NEVER liked Ice cream until I got pregnant this time around . the 3 things that PNUT likes that I never liked before are : Ice Cream, Root Beer, and Taco Bell.... :)
All in all the appointment went great. His heartbeat is strong and he loves to kick around in my belly. I love that feeling . It puts a smile on my face every single time he does it. :) We go back to the MD in 2 weeks and we will get to see our little PNUT :) I am sooo excited.
After much thought, we have decided to re-do the nursery. After our furnature was recalled and we had to pick out new stuff we decided to change everything- even down to the wall color. We have picked out new bedding and will start painting the room over the next week or so. I knew that we made the right decision when I went to take the bedding off the bed about 2 weeks ago and got extremely emotional. I love what we have picked out and as soon as the room is painted and the new furnature is in I will post pictures.
As time grows closer anxiety has really started to set in. However the great thing is that I have communicated this to people that have reminded me that God has a plan and a purpose for everything in our lives. As soon as the anxiety and fear start to overwhelm me , I am reminded of the truth. The Truth that God loves us and that God is FOR me and not aganist me. the fear and anxiety is a spiritual battle because satan wants me to worry and get me off track. But when this happens I am reminded of who God is and to "be still and know He is God".
I haven't taken any "belly Pic" but the latest picture that I have is at Tammy's birthday party on Friday night. I will have more pictures to post after next weekend because we are having Bailey's birthday party :)

ITS A BOY!

Today was the day we have been waiting for, for a few weeks.... Our Ultrasound appointment. Needless to say, this morning and last night was filled with many emotions. I was excited to find out what we were having but very anxious and nervous..... I prayed to God last night and this morning to give me Peace and to allow me to enjoy this experience. As I was sitting waiting in the waiting room, I looked around at all of the other pregnant ladies and they didn't look the least bit afraid or anxious... I wanted to feel that too.... but I couldn't. I kept replaying in my mind the dreaded day of December 28, 2007 when we had to go into the ultrasound room and see our lifeless baby laying there with no movement at all. But I kept praying silently for peace and as soon as the nurse called me back to the back, I felt it... I felt the peace. It was amazing. After the normal urine test and weight ( which was MUCH more than I expected) , blood pressure and Heartrate check we waited patiently outside of the ultrasound room for the technician to call us back. Once in the room , my heart started racing again, but I felt calm. As soon as she put the scanner on my belly I saw my precious gift from God moving around all over the place. It was so awesome. Immediately it was no denying he was a BOY. Mike automatically said, "well, i think we know what it is" :) We feel so blessed to be having another boy. I have to admit, before I had Carter I always wanted to have a little girl first, but after losing our son , I selfishly wanted to have a little boy first. Truely I did not matter to me what I was having, but I am so excited it is a little boy and a very active boy at that! :) We are going to be changing the nursery around , ( painting, new furnature, new bedding) so we have to get started soon! September is just around the corner! Thank you all for all of your prayers during our pregnancy! I really appreciate each and every one of them. I truely feel blessed to carry another one of God's children.

Spring Break

Bailey had spring break last week from school. We went to Carrowinds last Sunday and had a blast! I have posted some pictures from our beautiful day. I wasn't able to ride anything but I had a wonderful time walking around the park and being the offical photographer of the day. :)

Baseball Season

Baseball season is once again in full swing! Bailey is playing in the Lexington Dixie Youth organization and Mike's company, Splash Omnimedia sponsored his team this year. Mike is helping coach and I am keeping the books for them ! Baseball definalty keeps us busy. He practices 2-3 times per week and has games 2 times a week. He seems to really enjoy it and we enjoy watching him play and understand the fundamentals of baseball. GO SPLASH OMNIMEDIA !

IM BACK!

Hi! I know it has been a while since my last blog but wanted to take a few minutes and catch up and I am going to try my best to keep up with this blog :) As you can imagine ALOT has occured since my last post. First and foremost, as most of you know already , we are expecting a BABY ! In January of this year we found out we were pregnant again! We are very excited BUT nervous all at the same time. With this pregnancy , it brings with it a ton of emotions.... I am so glad that God has chosen me to carry another one of his children. At the same time, its hard not to not get consumed with worry about what happened during the last month of my last pregnancy with Carter. I have been very emotional and am relying on God for strength, courage and guidance as we go through the months ahead.

I am 18 weeks pregnant now and feel pretty good. I am getting used to giving myself daily injections of blood thinners and taking 8 pills a day. I will do whatever it takes to bring a healthy baby into this world. I am being monitored very closley my my OBGYN and we hope to find out in 2 weeks if we are having another boy or having a girl. My due date is acutally September 15th however my OBGYN will induce me approx. 1 month before my due date, so as the time gets closer I will have an exact date.

OB appointments seem to be a huge ordeal. I get extremely nervous to the point of almost an anxiety attack before each and every appointment. We have spoken to our MD about this and he assured us this is quite normal in women who have expererienced a loss in a previous pregnancy. I would like to say they get eaiser but I truely do not think they will. It is almost like I have flash backs of the worst day of my life, December 28,2007. I am trying to think positive and keep reminding myself God is in control.

Our last appointment Baby Whites Heartbeat was in the 150's . At times I think I can feel he or she moving around but it is not consistent at this point so I try not to worry to much on days when I do not feel much movement. We truely feel blessed and I thank God everyday for this pregnancy!

I have not taken any "belly pictures" but will try to do so within the next week. I seem to be expanding every day :)

Please continue to keep us in your prayers and I will keep you posted on as we progress through the pregnancy! We feel so blessed.

One Year ago Today

It is hard to believe that One year ago today we said Hello and goodbye to our son, Addison Carter White. I am not writing this post to try and re-focus on my pain. Nor, am I writing this post to try to make a big deal out of the suffering that I have experienced over the past 12 months. I am writing this as a testimony to God's grace to bring me through this loss, and also a memorial to our baby - because I will never forget him.

I would be lying if I said that I am here , a year later totally over the loss of Carter. I truely don't think I will ever be "over" it. I am however, completely amazed and thankful for God's grace to me and giving me peace in times when , in my own flesh I would have none. Not only knowing but BELIEVING in God's sovereigity is a great comfort. I do not know how I would every get through a loss like this, or any other, without understanding the sovereigity of God. I know that my "human mind" could go so many places of how, why, this is unfair, etc But thankfully one of the many ways God has been gracious to comfort me through this is with his loving soverigity over ALL things, and by his grace he allows me to trust him fully, because he is good and does all things well.

I am so thankful to God for being so gracious to surround me with many loving friends and family members who have been so thoughtful to ask me how I am doing and so kind to listen me when I needed to talk. I appreciate every phone call, text message, letter, card, hug, smile , etc.

But he said to me " My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness". Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weakness, so that the power of Christ will rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12.9

Happy Birthday Carter! We love you!

Christmas in Heaven

My First Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear,
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
But the sounds of music can’t compare
with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond descriptions to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me. I see the pain inside your heart,
But I am not so far away, we really aren’t apart.
So be happy for me dear ones. You know I hold you near,
And be glad I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I send you each a special gift from my heavenly home above.
I send you each a memory of my undying love.
After all “love” is the gift, more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do,
For I can’t count the blessings or love He has for you.
So have a joyous Christmas and wipe away the tear,
Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

Aurhor Unknown----


We LOVE you Carter!
Have a Merry Christmas in Heaven!

Love,
Mommy, Daddy and Bailey

Giving Thanks.....

By the time I finish this post it will be Thanksgiving Day. I am so thankful for alot of things in my life; Jesus Christ, Family, Love, Health, Faith, ,a Great Job,Great Friends, but this Thanksgiving there is one thing in particular that I am most thankful for. This time last year we were preparing for the birth of our Son. Now one year later our lives have completley changed. This year I am Thankful to God for the opportunity to get pregnant and giving me 8 1/2 months with my Son. I am thankful for all of the kicks, punches, heartburn, nausea,weight gain and everything that had to go along with my pregnancy that so many of us take for granted. I am thankful for the Doctors and nurses who were so wonderful to us at the hospital during our delivery. I am thankful for ALL of our MANY FRIENDS and FAMILY who have been there for us through this time. Every call, card, letter, email, prayer, truely has helped me get this far. I could not have made it this far without you all and I can not say thank you enough!

Everyone says the Holidays will be difficult and I felt like I was on the road to healing, up until a few days ago. I felt the "wound" that has taken such a large part out of my heart was starting to heal. Please pray God will grant us strength and comfort in this time as our Sons absence will be much more evident to us during this time.

1 Thessalonians 5:8 says "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus". all circumstances? No, I am not thankful that Carter died , but I am THANKFUL to know that God has a plan and a purpose for this and I know that he will continue to walk beside me each and every day and grant me Peace in knowing that he is in control of my life.

Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone!

"THE LIGHT"

Every night I turn on Bailey's lamp on when it is getting close to bed time and I also turn on our "beans" light as well. When it is time to go to bed either Mike or myself go in and turn the lamp off and say good night to our precious son. I can not tell you how difficult it is sometimes to go in there and smell the smell of baby powder and lotion and realize that the crib that was supposed to be our son, Carter's bed, is still exactly the way it has been for almost 9 months. Everything is exactly the way it has been for 9 months, when we should be picking up toys, play yards and experincing him trying to crawl, walk and talk, instead we are wiping tears from our eyes and longing just to hold or touch our sons skin just one more time.
I have been praying lately for God to give me a sign to know little Carter is safe in the arms of our Lord . I have been praying for a few weeks for this, as I am trying to give my guilt and heavy heart to God. This week I went down the hall to make sure all of the lights were off before I left for work, and as I walked by Carter's room there appeared as his lamp was still on. I thought to myself, I know I cut his lamp off last night. I stood at his door and was frozen as the hair stood up on end on my arms. Above Carter's crib was a bright light. As tears began to stream down my face I realize that God had answered my prayers. There as I stood weaping I felt to presence of the Holy Spirit showing me,my son is safe with Jesus in Heaven by providing a Light above his crib. "For you are my lamp , oh Lord, and my God lightens my darkness" 2nd Samuel 22:29.

6 months ago.....

6 months ago yesterday our son, Addison Carter White, grew wings and flew to Heaven to be with Jesus. It seems like just yesterday we were so excited about his arrival to this world. My pregnancy flew by so fast. I will never forget the day we found out we were expecting, May 19, 2007. I loved being pregnant. It was so incredible to feel Carter moving and kicking all of the time. He especically loved snicker bars!!! :) However, everytime I went to the doctor and got on the scales , and the nurse kept saying I was gaining MORE and MORE weight... I wasn't loving that;) But I have no regrets. December 28, 2007 will forever be etched in my mind. The day we found out our baby was not going to be arriving to this world. The day we found out that Jesus had decided he was going to raise our Son for us. My heart still aches for him. There is not one day that goes by that I do not wish that he was here with us. It was not until 2 days ago was I able to finish up his nursery and finally open his door. It feels so good to have his door open now. For the past 3 nights I have turned on his lamp in his room, just as I do Bailey's lamp in the evening before bed. I know that our Son is in Heaven and will forever be our Angel. It is comforting to know that one day we will spend eternity with him in Heaven. Through this experience I have been able to meet several ladies who have been through similar infant losses in the past months. It has truely been a blessing to be able to meet and communicate with people that are feeling the same way I am. I am also so lucky to have some of the best friends to be able to walk with us through this STILL most difficult time. We would not be where we are now, without all of our precious friends. I am not even going to attempt to name them ( because I feel certian I would probably leave someone out unintentionally) but you all know who you are!! I want you all to know how thankful and blessed we are to have you all in our life. We love each and everyone of you very much and you will always have a special place in our hearts. We truely could not have made it through this without you all. I am attaching some pictures of Carter's finished nursery. We love you Carter. Even though you will never physically be in your room, your prescence will always be felt in there.I love you MORE and MORE each and every day!